I wish . . .

I wish I could learn from what I know. Like moments are more precious that gifts. Cause gifts can and will be returned by people. Or they may not want them.

I wish I could change people's minds. But that's impossible. So, even though you are frustrated, you go on and let it be. How they react is not your doing.

I wish I knew why.

I wish I could have an answer every time.

I wish they knew how scared I felt. How terrified I felt at the thought of losing them. At the thought that I didn't do enough for them. At the mere idea that maybe I could have done more. Or maybe been there more. Or just more.

I wish I could talk about it. But talking about it makes me feel worse. Impending doom on the horizon.

I wish I could cry every time I feel this way.

I wish it wouldn't hurt.

I wish I could see past it.

I wish the lump on my throat and the weight on my chest would go away.