Flashbacks

Its been a weird day.

I have no idea why, maybe its the humidity or the sun and breeze or the building I'm working summer school . . . I have been flashing back to Puerto Rico ALL morning. I mean like I expect to hear Spanish and see green luscious trees, gorgeous bright and colorful flowers, a warm breeze. The dark rain laden clouds running around today did not help.

The building made me flashback to the Universidad de Puerto Rico . . . I expected to see the familiar buildings, the people, the cacophony of noise, the fried food smell. Oh I want one of those ham, cheese and fried egg sandwiches now.

Driving home I was looking for the traffic, the insane no rules driving, the huge amount of people moving everywhere.

There's a Spanish word . . . añorar . . . a deep full hearted feeling of longing for something . . . THAT is the best description I have for it. Añoro a Puerto Rico. I long for the island breezes, the beaches, the warm and humid days, the insanity of so many people in one little place, the friendly people everywhere.

Maybe I'm just longing for the past. For the time I lived there. For those easier going times and having little cares. Maybe I am just getting too old.

I miss the island living. Its different from continental, mainland living. Its the feeling that this is all there is, there is no more, there is no way out, so live it up as best you can with who you can and when you can. That weird "No exit" type of thinking creates some strange behavior. So why do I want that?

Maybe I AM longing for a simpler life. For the past when I did little and enjoyed more. Maybe I just miss it, it is a nice place after all.

Its just weird.

Of course, once I am there (not saying I'm running away to it here), I will start to remember the things I didn't like about it.

But still.

Maybe its just my grandparents around me longing to go back there. Or maybe they are calling me to go there for some weird reason.

Have no idea where it came from. But it head slapped me really fast and it won't leave easily.

I think I'll go to sleep with the sounds of El Coquí tonight.